As I was reading all of the encouraging comments and emails everyone has sent since my last post (with my itunes on shuffle,) Jewel’s song “Hands” came on and I froze.  It spoke directly to me…  Here are the lyrics for anyone who doesn’t know the song.

“Hands”
If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we’re all OK
And not to worry ’cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won’t be made useless
I won’t be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they’re not yours, they are my own
But they’re not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn’t steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn’t ever after
We’ll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what’s right
‘Cause where there’s a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing
My hands are small I know
But they’re not yours, they are my own
But they’re not yours, they are my own
I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
My hands are small I know
But they’re not yours, they are my own
But they’re not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
My hands are small I know
But they’re not yours, they are my own
But they’re not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God’s eyes
God’s hands
God’s mind
We are God’s hands
We are God’s hands

Why am I here?  I am here because this is a dream of mine. I am so fortunate to be able to experience what I am experiencing.  I have the opportunity to work with these amazing kids and I gotta make the most of it.  And when things get tough, I have to rely on my faith.  I have to try not to worry and stress over things that are outside of my control, and just focus on the things that my hands, with God’s support, can handle. 

So right now, I am going to ask God to help me win the war against the cockroaches.  Last night, Hakusembe (one of my room mates) sprayed  cockroach killing spray through the kitchen and of course, the ones that could, fled… right into my room.  They were everywhere – I must have killed over 150 of them last night (and cleaned up hundreds more dead ones in the kitchen this morning!). And as a result, I couldn’t sleep!  So, tonight I ask for peace!

Thank you again to everyone for their constant encouragement.  You have helped remind me why I am here.  xox 

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